nokiabae:

my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

(via rrd97h)

beyoncescock:

seven billion people on this planet and i have 2 friends

(via forever-inn-neverland)

yesterdayoflastyear:

I want Tina Belcher’s voice on a GPS

urbancatfitters:

if u watch closely while i take tests u can see me mouthing profanity at the test paper

(Source: urbancatfitters, via shelbtwer)

hannibb:

who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants

(via warmcrotch)